More and more, I've spent my time reflecting who I have been. I think this is the consequence of finally feeling settled and more secure. I believe this is one of many episodes in my life where I will see my own growth lain out behind me, like a long and stretching shadow across sand lit by a setting sun. I cringe at all the little darknesses within it. I think this is a necessary part of being. Without embarrassment, there is no drive to adjust. I've begun choose my words with care. I move in the world more carefully than before. I am more protective of myself. I am more observant. I am kind in new ways.
I can only say I love myself now because I have grown from who I once was, who struggled to love myself
I want to live a life of intention after years of having few intentions. Here's to a new year of that!

Massive fan of moving the old month's blog entries to the backlog. It feels like I'm shoving lots of notebook paper into a large box to rummage through later.

Collage night was a massive success. Turnout of 50+ people. I now have 3 totes full of National Geographics, streetwear magazines, stock photo catalogs from the 90s, etc. A physical media lover's dream. Definitely utilizing them before the next collage night.

Current favorite album: Windswept Adan by Ichiko Aoba. When I listen to it in the shower with the lights turned off, I watch the green light of my roommate's charging electric razor through frosted glass. The beam tessalates into something beautiful, like I'm laying at the bottom of the pool at night and watching emerald starlight refract across the water's surface. The music sends my spirit back into my body.

I wrote in the notes app after a small craft night with kind people:

come on, god! protect all us little things.